Straight From The Horse’s Mouth

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A Horse's Mouth
The Horse's Mouth

Origin of the Phrase: Straight From The Horse’s Mouth

This phrase can be attributed to a fellow named Armando Aquinas. Armando Aquinas has a very unusual name. Aquinas is derived from the Latin word Equinas which literally means “Horse Brains”. Aquinas was a high ranking priest in the Order of Friars Preachers when he was accosted by a large group of holy hermits. The hermits took his robe and stole his most prized possession, his blue glass bauble. It has been said that Aquinas screamed in such horror and anguish that his cries could curdle milk or some such nonsense.

After Aquinas was mobbed by the holy hermits he developed a hatred of these hermits which can only be described as obsessively unhealthy. He began creating search parties which would scour the countryside and round up the hermits. The hermits were brought to the church where Aquinas would lecture the hermits for sometimes up to 5 days straight. Then the hermits would be drawn and quartered and then buried in a tomb which was said to be six hundred and sixty-six feet from the seventh circ of Hell. Thomas Aquinas took great delight in these rituals and thereafter when a hermit or other undesirable was being charged with a crime punishable by death raised any objections their protests were quelled with a snide “This order came straight from the Horses mouth!” In fact, the pope of that time Pope Innocent IV after learning of the wanton slaughter of the hermits exclaimed, “That Aquinas character is really socking it to the hermits!”

One time Aquinas was walking along a lonely path through the French countryside when a holy hermit came upon him asking for bread. Aquinas let out a whinny that would rival any noise a horse could make. The holy hermit turned to dust and that strange event really sealed Armando Aquinas’ place in the history books right there.

Sample Usage

Jim: Bob you need to clean up this mess right away.

Bob: Why don’t you do it!!

Lou: Why don’t you two quit bickering. This mess needs to be cleaned up and that came straight from the horses mouth! (meaning the boss)

Jim and Bob: Oh!

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